I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
