You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she looked like the before picture.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
