I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
