Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
