I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
