if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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