Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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