There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
