okay pat passed out under dana's car
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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