How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
