STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
