Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize