I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
