Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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