sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
