You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
