You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
