you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
