dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I deserve this hangover.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
