i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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