also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
