Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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