so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
