I want to walk on stilts...naked
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
