oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
