New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
