i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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