Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
