I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
