Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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