sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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