I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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