The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
