but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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