she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
