Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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