i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it was like eating out sand paper
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
