I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can text with my tongue
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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