At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
