we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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