the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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