xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
