..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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