ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
