would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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