and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
