roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
