Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
