sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
