How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
