Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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