I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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