I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
