whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
only if we run a train.
done.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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