I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I got chris browned last night
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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