i think my tv is drunk
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize