I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
now i know why i became what i already was.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
