We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
