This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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