I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize