well you can't waste a boner
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
