I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i think my cat just said my name.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize