Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize