Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
