**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
