Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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