also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
