Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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